One may think what is people skills? and why it is so much important in day-to-day lives and particularly in business. If I put it in simple words people skills could be defined as the ability to deal with people. The biggest problem one might face while doing business is how to deal with people. As humans are complex creatures so one set of rules can not be applied in every circumstance to deal with them.
Several pieces of research also showed that the highest-paid personnel in any organization are not those who have just sound technical skills. Those people who have technical skills, as well as the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people- that person, would definitely have a higher earning power and have a high probability to succeed in business.
John D. Rockefeller, American business magnate and philanthropist once said -” The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun”. A survey was conducted by the University of Chicago and the United Y.M.C.A. schools to determine what adults want to study. That survey revealed that health is the prime concern and their second interest is people, how to make people like you, how to win others to your way of thinking.
The rules that I have elaborated below are not mere theories or guesswork. They work like magic. Implausible as it sounds, but the application of these principles literally revolutionized the lives of many people. So listed below are people skills example.
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Fundamental Principles Of People Skills
Do not Criticize, Condemn or Complain (One of the most Important People Skills)
If I put it in plain and simple words people do not like criticism. No matter how much wrong they may be, you would never find people looking for their own shortcomings. Criticism is inefficacious because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it hurts people’s pride, sense of importance and arouses resentment.
So by criticizing we do not make lasting changes and often incurs resentment. Criticism results in resentment which demoralizes employees and still not corrects the situation that has been condemned. Through his experiment, B.F skinner the world-famous psychologist proved that which can also be applied to humans as well that person rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns more effectively than a person criticized.
An Example which would Help you Understand how to apply People Skills in life
Let me give a piece of example to make my point clear, There was a man named Robert lious, he was the safety coordinator for an engineering company. His job was to keep an eye on that every worker on the field is following safety protocols while at work. He reported that he came across workers who were not wearing hats and he ordered them with a lot of authority on his side that they must comply with regulations. As a result, it made them wear the hat but only with sullen acceptance, and often after the officer left, the worker would remove the hat.
After analyzing the result of the criticism he went with a different approach. He approached them calmly and asked them whether the hats were uncomfortable and did they fit properly. Then he suggested to them in a calm and composed tone that hats were designed for the protection of workers from injury and they always must be worn on the job. The result was it increased compliance with the regulation with no resentment or emotional upset.
Let’s try to understand people instead of condemning them. Look for why do they what they do which is more profitable and intriguing and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. One of the most important skills to be successful in anything is people skills.
Give honest and sincere appreciation (A Crucial People Skills that would win you a comrade)
Suppose that you have given someone work to do but they do not want to do it. Do you have any idea how to get them to do it? there is no other way under the seven sky other than making the other person want to do it. Of course, there are other ways also like sticking a knife in their ribs in a pursuit to make them do things. You can also make your employees give their cooperation by threatening to fire them. But these harsh methods come with undesirable consequences.
The only way to get anyone to do anything is by giving them what they want. So what people want as bad as to breath, as bad as health and preservation of life, food, sleep.. a desire to be great or a desire to be important. Everybody likes a compliment. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and animals.
If our ancestors had not had this flaming urge for a feeling of importance, civilization would not have been possible. We should just have been about animals without this. This sheer desire for a feeling of importance led poverty-stricken grocery clerks to study law books that he had found under the plunder of household. This world has heard his name, his name is Abraham Lincoln, an American statesman, and lawyer who served as the 16th president of the United States.
Even people go insane in search of a feeling of importance that has been denied to them in the harsh world of reality. There are more people in the world suffering from mental disease than from all other diseases combined. If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle one can achieve by giving people honest appreciation.
An Illustration which would help you Understand why People Skills is Important
Let me give you one of the finest examples which would make my words more comprehensible. Charles Schwab, was one of the first Americans to be paid over a million dollars a year. When he was only thirty-eight years old, he was picked up by Andrew Carnegie to become the first president of the newly formed United States Steel company in 1921.
Why Andrew Carnegie paid him over a million dollars a year? or you can say more than three thousand dollars a day because Charles Schwab was a genius, Nonesense. Because he knew more about manufacturing steel? No. He had many people working under him who knew more about steel than he could ever know. He was paid so much money because he knew how to deal with people.
The greatest asset he had was his ability to arouse enthusiasm among his people. He knew very well to make a man reach his potential can only be done by appreciation and encouragement. there is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. He never criticized anyone. he firmly believed in giving the incentive to work so he was always anxious to praise but loathe to find fault. If he liked anything, he was hearty in approbation and lavish in praise.
let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants and try to figure out other person good points as well. Forget about flattery, Give honest and sincere appreciation. People will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime.
Arouse in the other person an eager want
I think once in a lifetime you must have had gone fishing. You might like fresh cream and strawberries but it’s not about what you like or want, it’s about what fish want and what they want is worm then you must use worm as bait to catch them or you will never catch them, does not matter how many times you want to try your luck.
So why not use the same common sense when you go fishing for people. If anyone wants to stay in power or make things go in their way they should learn the art of what type of bait one should hook to suit the fish. People are always interested in what they want instead of what we want so while negotiating a contract or terms or conditions we should always look for what the other party is interested in. So the only way to influence other people is to have a conversation about what they want and how to get it.
Actions spring out of what we fundamentally yearn for so the best slice of advice that should be given to any persuaders in a business is that first arose in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has a world with him, he who can not walk a lonely way. There is the only way to influence people is to always talks in the terms of what other people want.
Elucidate People Skills let me tell you a story
If there is anyone’s secret of success, it lies in the ability to get another person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as yours. There was a banker named Alice bale, who worked in a bank in Newyork, who desired to move to Phoenix, Arizona so she wrote a letter to twelve banks in Pheonix.
But in a letter never ever mentioned that she wanted a job, she always talked in terms of what the bank would be interested in. Like she mentioned her expertise and experience and how she would be able to contribute to the bank’s growth. And to her surprise, she was invited to all the bank t which she sent her letter.
So in business always think about what other people want and what their desires are because we are always eternally interested in solving our problem. If you inculcate this habit of thinking about what other people are interested in, this habit could be proved to be a building block of your career. Looking from another person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want is not to be looked at as manipulation but each party should gain from the negotiation.
William Winter once remarked that ‘self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature. why can not we adopt this to business dealings as well? Instead of hurling ideas of yours let them think that it is their own.
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People skills are learned skills, it may take time but it is as important as any technical skills. In day-to-day life, you talk to hundreds of people, communicate with them, so it’s very important to understand the psychology of influencing people’s minds and how to win them.
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